


Real-Time Character Enforcement or Darren's sex dreams about Kurt and Blaine

by shanksmuseum



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Bromance, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Humor, inappropriate thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 02:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanksmuseum/pseuds/shanksmuseum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if I wanted to have sex with you?"</p>
<p>Chris paused, hand still on the handle, barely holding open the door Darren had just knocked on way too many times to be anything other than annoying at 6am.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real-Time Character Enforcement or Darren's sex dreams about Kurt and Blaine

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Talk of sex and superpowers

“What if I wanted to have sex with you?”  
  
Chris paused, hand still on the handle, barely holding open the door Darren had just knocked on way too many times to be anything other than annoying at 6am.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“The dreams I told you about.”  
  
Chris finally let go of the door, unfazed and still sleepy he stepped aside, letting Darren in.  
  
“The ones where you watch a very naked Kurt and Blaine do fun filled activities?”  
  
“Yeah, those.”  
  
“Your sex dreams.”  
  
“I like to think of them as real-time character enforcement.”  
  
Chris raised an eyebrow, amused and slightly more attentive with the coffee he had abandoned to open the door back between his numb hands.  
  
“Character perversion. No, actually, just perversion.”  
  
"I never denied being a perv, but these are.. helpful.”  
  
Hiding his mocking smile, Chris took another sip.  
  
“Sure." He said with a smirk.  
  
“They give me an in depth perspective into Kurt and Blaine’s love.”  
  
“Darren, they’re sex dreams induced by lack of sleep and a ridiculous amount of caring for fictional characters. The fact that you play one of them probably makes that worse.”  
  
“We’re veering away from what I came here to talk about.”  
  
“You came here to drive me to work and isn’t veering part of therapy time?”  
  
“Is that what we’re calling it now?”  
  
“You don’t do small talk and every morning we end up discussing either my, yours or one of our character’s psyche. I only humor you because I never have the correct brain function at that hour to do anything but name our special moments together.”  
  
“Therapy time?”  
  
“It’s a working title.”  
  
Chris put down the cup and turned to Darren, still too tired to be reluctant about putting the coffee aside.  
  
“You are enabled. What seems to be the problem?”  
  
“What if I wanted to have sex with you?”  
  
“Explain.”  
  
“I’ve been having these dreams on and off for two years now. What if they were there not to get a deeper understanding of my character but rather to nudge me towards the realization that I would want a sexual relationship with you.”  
  
“That’s ridiculous.”  
  
“Because I’m marginally straight?”  
  
“No, because you are you and you’re analysing this for the sake of analysing, not because there’s any truth behind it.”  
  
“But what if there is?”  
  
“The fact that you’re even asking that kind of proves the contrary.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
“And apparently neither do you.”  
  
Chris watched Darren’s eyebrows furrow in concentration, biting the inside of his cheek as he pondered this like it was the most important thing in the world.  
  
Chris had seen him make the same face when deciding what condiments to add to a sandwich.  
  
“Am I having an existential crisis?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Darren looked offended.  
  
“How do you know?!”  
  
“Darren, do you want to have sex with me?”  
  
Squinting his eyes, Darren tilted his head.  
  
“Mmhmm. I don’t think so.”  
  
“Have you ever wanted to have sex with me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I want to have sex with everyone. No matter what, at some point or another I’ve thought about doing it with you.”  
  
“How... charming.”  
  
“But what if the dreams mean something different? Something deeper. What if my mind was trying to tell me I wanted to have actual sex with you, not just mind sex.”  
  
“Do you often question what your own mind is trying to tell you?”  
  
“All the time. It’s called the subconscious, Chris, you should know this.”  
  
“I’m not an actual shrink.”  
  
“I prefer the term therapist.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you be discussing this with someone other than the subject of conversation?”  
  
“Of course not. Why?”  
  
“Because if we come to the conclusion that you do, in fact, want to have sex with me, I would have to hear it?”  
  
“I don’t see the problem.”  
  
Chris laughed, shaking his head a little.  
  
“Never mind, proceed.”  
  
“So what do you think?”  
  
“I... what do I think about you maybe wanting to sleep with me?”  
  
“Yes! I feel like we’re going around in circles here.”  
  
“I think my subconscious is trying to gain time with redundancy while it tries to figure out what the hell is going on.”  
  
“Too early for this?”  
  
“Yes. But it’s always too early for everything you think about.”  
  
‘Are you telling me I’m ahead of my time?”  
  
“I’m telling you your mind works differently than any other human.”  
  
“Chris, do you think I’m an alien?”  
  
Darren was grinning like a madman.  
  
“It would explain a lot... You want me to tell you you’re superhuman, don’t you?”  
  
“Would you have sex with me if I was?”  
  
Chris patted his cheek with a mock serious grimace.  
  
“No, sweetie. I’d ask you to do my chores.”  
  
“Super cat pooper-scooper?”  
  
Chris sighed, getting a thermos cup for his, now cold, coffee with a smile on his face.  
  
“You’re insane.”  
  
“Maybe in my dreams tonight Kurt and Blaine are going to have superhero sex.”  
  
“So you’re back on “character development” dreaming, then?”  
  
“I’m sure there’s still a part of me that wants to have sex with you. But, until it manifests again, I shall keep enjoying my very creative imagination.”  
  
Slipping his coat on, Chris laughed softly.  
  
“I bet.”  
  
“Although, my imagination may be fantastic, but it’d be better if it had something tangible to work with. Maybe if I saw you naked...”  
  
This time Chris let out a snort.  
  
“Dream on, Darren.”  
  
He called over his shoulder as he grabbed his keys and phone, heading towards the door.  
  
“Oh, I will!”  
  
Darren grinned, following him out. **  
**


End file.
